Him: What time are you open today?
Me: We’re open until 10pm tonight.
Him: What time do you open?
Me: We’re open 11am to 10pm.
Him: And you’re closed between 1 and 3?
Me: No. We’re open 11 to 10.
Him (getting insistent): But you’re usually closed 1-3, right?
Him (thinks I’m lying): You used to be closed from 1-3.
Me (mad): No, we never close during the day. We’re closed Mondays, so maybe that’s what you’re thinking.
Him (whatever): Yeah, okay thanks. Well I have something to drop off.
(Later on, he walks in. Looks at me suspiciously.)
Him: You change these?
Him: These signs on the door (he indicates the three year-old signs that don’t say we’re closed 1-3), you change these?
Him (sick of my bloody lying): Yeah, okay. Here’s your package.
(He walks away, shaking his head in contempt at having to deal with liars and cheats.)